When is the best time to visit Nevada?  Well not July, this is when our company shutdown is, so we go when we can go. But if there was a choice in the matter, NOT JULY!  If you ever wondered what it is like to stuff your head into your oven but don’t want the back pain from bending over, head to Nevada in July.  My first thought when I arrived, “How in the hell do people live here?”  Sure the desert is beautiful and I keep getting told it is a different heat, but holy shit, I underestimated it.

 Now I know what you are thinking, “Tonya, Nevada is hot, what do expect?”  I know that I am in the desert and I am expecting it to bring the heat.  There were, however, above average temperatures for the time here.  I am pretty hot natured so imagine how excited I was to find out that during our trip it was going to be Hell’s Furnace outside.  Well, I suck it up, sorta, and go anyway.  To preface how hot it was, let me just say that there were several deaths the week before due to soaring temps.  Yay!  Our plans are ALL outdoors, and I am a bit concerned about how I will power through.

Our first stop is the Hoover Dam, the engineering marvel! This dam powers Nevada, Arizona, and some of California and was dedicated in 1936. Since Covid has put a wrench in everything wonderful in the world, there is no dam tour at this time, and I was damn disappointed.  You can walk across the dam and take some iconic pictures.  You might want to also take plenty of photos of the Colorado River, while it is still there.

We then walked across the dam then headed down the road to the bridge that connects Nevada to Arizona, the Mike O’Callaghan-Pat Tillman Bridge.  If you are afraid of heights this bridge may give you the heebie-jeebies.  You could feel it flex with every car that went by, eeek! 

There is also a gift shop to go through if you want any souvenirs of the dam.  I was mesmerized by the Hoover Dam.  Everyone should visit at least once, I cannot wait to go back.  The tour is now back open and you can purchase tickets online.  Be aware, you also have to drive through security as well, so don’t be surprised when you arrive.

After the dam disappointing tours still not being available we headed to Vegas.  Vegas is the city that never sleeps and a must see destination.  Well if our first experience with Vegas is any inclination of how the rest of the trip would go we are in for a treat.

Our first stop is the iconic Vegas sign.  For those of you that don’t know or who live under a rock, I am talking about the Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas sign.  This sign was built in 1959 and is now a historical marker.  Now, in my head this was something fabulous like the name.  In reality, this is a tourist trap in the median of a busy road, but I am hell bent on going.

One thing to note is that the Vegas sign is busy with limited parking.  We snagged a spot by luck and went to stand in line.  Now I know what I am standing in line for.  Elvis is up there and I plan on getting my picture.  However, there are also people going around the line to take a side snap selfie of the sign and then moving on. This is where the controversy started.

First thing though, let’s talk about Elvis.  Our Elvis looked like he just got off an all night bender and rolled up on an electric wheelchair.  He probably had a jitterbug in the front basket and life alert button hidden in his glittery unitard.  If we are honest here, I would rather have this ruffed up Elvis anyway.  

Now that we have our Elvis authoritarian clear, let’s talk about the controversy.  There was a lady and her family in line ahead of us.  I am not sure where she was from, but she had an accent and her husband was white.  This lady is having a fit about the selfie side steppers and is getting more agitated because she cannot get her husband to defend her honor to the line jumpers.  He of course does nothing but hang his head in shame so she goes to her next resource, Elvis.  

She stomps up to the front of the line and taps Elvis on the shoulder like is the grand authority of the Vegas sign.  He too, is amazed that this lady is taking this so personally and tells her it is ok to go get back in line.

Still not to be swayed, this lady decides she needs to take the situation into her own hands.  At this point people are starting to film her, I am sure there are videos of her on the internet somewhere for your future enjoyment.

With full range she starts yelling, “Can you not see there is a line here!  This is not how it works!  This is not Cuba!’”  Well the selfie takers are not scared and start laughing.  This makes her dig deep, “You are number one ugly!  I hate you, my sister hates you! You number one ugly!”  Now that folks have got to hurt , being number one on the ugly scale.

Elvis finally gets her to calm down and it is their turn to get a picture done, and Elvis without missing a beat asks my husband if he is getting his photo with his parents.  I never laughed so hard in my life and getting the mean eyes from Korey did not affect me at all.

After the controversy we finally got several pictures with Drunk Elvis and without.  Then he kindly asked for a tip afterwards.  We floated him some cash because this was probably the cheapest entertainment we would get while we were in Vegas.

If you enjoy the heat, people watching, boozy drinks, food, and gambling Vegas is for you.  You will either love it or hate it.  The streets are full of half dressed people, some normal, most weird.  There is also a smell of booze that lingers on the streets and people that like to hound you when you walk by.  This overloaded my senses, and I became a Vegas hater.  We were only here a short time, about 4 hours, and we did not even see it lit up at night

We walked down the strip and went to a couple casinos and looked through the beautiful Bellagio before we ended up in line at Gordon Ramsey’s Burger restaurant.  Burger was good, as with a lot of things, you are paying for the experience.

The problem with our Vegas trip is that we were not forced to amerce ourselves into the experience.  We stayed over by Lake Mead, and I will pick nature over people anytime.  I would not say I would not go back to the strip, but if I go again I will stay on the strip so I can make a better judgment.

Lake Mead is beautiful.  I am not sure why the water looks so blue.  Maybe it is the towering rock backdrops.  I am just happy we have had the opportunity to see it before it dries up.  We did go to a couple beaches while we were there.  

One was called Boulder Beach. I thought this name was going to be because there were boulders peaking out of the water.  Unfortunately it is because the whole beach is giant rocks.  Like I need a jeep to rock crawl to the water rocks.  I may be a bit dramatic about this, but they were big enough to twist your ankle and ruin a good time.  It was sad to see the water levels though.  You could see it on the beach and the markings along the rocks. 

To wrap up our Vegas adventure and because I am a nature lover, we took a Red Rock Canyon Scooter tour.  Yep, it is as awesome as it sounds.

We used the Red Rock Scooter Tours company, I will provide a link below.  Now it did cost us $159 bucks a person but it was so worth every penny.  You get to ride a bitchin ‘vespa through a 13 mile closed loop through the Red Rock Canyon.  There are also several stops along the way where your guide gives you information about the area and photo ops.

Here is the thing.  This is about a four hour activity so dress appropriately.  Since I am melanin challenged, I wore a long sleeved sun shirt so I would not look like a sun dried tomato when we were done.   You do get scooter training, but if you are afraid of them you might stay home.   They are not going to put you out in the wild on these hogs with no idea how to operate them, you are also required to wear a helmet, so if you don’t want to mess up your hair, you better not go. The first half hour or so is training.   After the training, you are off through the canyon, you have a lead scooter and a van that follows the group to make sure everything is ok.

There are really no rules other than, do not pass the leader, watch for cars, and do not drive like morons.  There is one other danger not mentioned though, don’t drive slower than we could walk!  Korey and I got stuck behind a lady that was absolutely terrified.  Her husband left her in the dust on his scooter, she should have stayed at the hotel drinking mojitos and gambling.  She was not having a good time.

It was also no fun watching her almost get creamed when she drifted into the other lane while cars were trying to pass her.  She is going to slow at one point we lost track of the group and they had to stop to wait on us.  Why didn’t we pass you ask, well that is because there are two lanes and she thought they were all for her.  

Finally after watching her weeble wobble and almost die for the 100th time we made our move.  We gunned it!  I finally felt free and was singing Born to be Wild as we left her in our dust.   I felt freedom at last while maxing out at 30 miles per hour.

The crew at Red Rock Scooter crew was amazing.  Not only did they provide water and light snacks, but they also took 9000 pictures of us when we asked.  They were also very knowledgeable about the area and provided history along the tour.  Just so everyone knows I am not getting paid for endorsing them, I just really enjoyed this, so much I think this was my favorite thing in Nevada.

All in all, I would give Vegas another shot, but I really don’t think it is for me.  I did love the landscape and the history of the area.  I will be returning soon as  I am waiting for our leather vest and patches to come in as we were inducted into the Red Rock Canyon Vespa Scooter Gang.